It's just....so wrong.....

Got to reading an article in the Albquerque Tribune today titled, "Even presidential candidates have their dream jobs".

It's an insightful bit about the current roster of candidates and their answers to some AP questions. Sort of a "get to know you better".

But that's not the problem.

The problem is that...as is well documented, our Governor, one Mr. Bill Richardson wanted to be a baseball player as a youth. This we know. And to illustrate that, the paper includes a file photo from 2003 of the Guv tossing out a first pitch at an Isotopes game. And when you click the photo it gets large. Real large. Large enough to see more detail than you need....

Click at your own risk: Be Disturbed

I have seen the furry belly of our Governor. I might never be the same......

It also bugs me that Hillary couldn't give a succinct answer and that Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo smarmed it up and said President. But that's another post for another day.....

My Karma is Ok Today

I work for a fairly popular global company. It's pretty well known and has managed to impact the way we look at a lot of things. It's wild to me how people associate with the branding of this company.

In fact, my big behemoth of a company is something of a rock star.

In my many years working here, I've seen a LOT of people come by, whole families, mom, dad, kids and the dog, to have their picture taken in front of our corporate headquarters. More times than I can count I've had people ask me of there is a tour they can take. (Of what, I think...people working at their desks?).

Today I was walking back from a meeting, very thoughtful in my head, composing an email I need to send to an executive that needs to be a bit terse, but comes off as not terse. A fine line, I assure you.

I had occasion to walk by the main sign in front of our building and saw three Japanese tourists there taking photos of each other standing next to the sign.

I remembered how when I, hayseed that I am, was in New York and native New Yorkers would stop and ask if I wanted them to take the picture of me standing next to whatever thing I was taking a photo of. I thought it was SO nice and told many of them I no longer believed the bad rap that New Yorkers get for being mean. It was a love fest. And I've told that story to anyone who will listen.

With that in mind, I walked up to the group that was blocking the sidewalk. They turned to look at me, realized I was an employee and got a moment of "she works for the rock star" look in their eyes.

I said, "do you want me to take a picture of all of you?" while pointing and gesturing. The woman looked embarrassed and confused and looked at the man next to her. They exchanged words in their language then looked at the third man. I said again, "I'll take a picture of all of you" and smiled as though that would somehow translate my American English. Then I began feeling bad because they didn't understand me and I'd somehow accosted them on their vacation. I turned to walk away when the third man piped up and said "ok!" and without reservation, handed me his camera.

All grins and giggles the three piled up by the sign. I put down my books and sweater and made sure I had them in frame. I didn't want to mess up this moment. They smiled, I smiled, the shutter went click. I looked at the LCD. It's a nice photo of three friends, so happy to be by the sign of a company they admire, having their photo taken by an employee of the company.

I hope they have a good story to tell when they get home.

Does my Heart Good

It does my heart good to know that wild horses still exist in New Mexico. It says that despite all the encroachment of civilization, wild horses still run free, and that speaks to both my heart and deep places in my soul. True, the numbers are greatly diminished and the day will come when they aren't there any more, but as of today, they still run wild.

Read in the ABQjournal today about an adoption put on by the Forest Services from Carson National Forest. Sadly I live in an overcrowded-overpopulated-overgrowth area where a postage stamp of land costs millions. If I did have the land, I'd gladly pay the $125 per head to let a few continue to run wild on my dime. I wouldn't even try to saddle break them or make a mustang conform to my way of thinking. I'd just let 'em blast out the back of the trailer and then take great joy in watching them run, heads tossed in the wind, mane all covered in brambles, but free as the day the pony was born.

I'd like to give a tip of the hat to the Wild Horse Observers Association of New Mexico who are working to protect these wild animals and keep them running free in New Mexico. They also look to limit the roundups and sales that greatly cut down the herds.

I know my view might be a bit controversial, but that's where I stand. Over Christmastime I had occasion to be in Laughlin, Nevada and saw a few of the wild burros that run around that area. It made me smile. I considered it my Christmas present from the universe.

I guess being a child of the West, it makes me happy on a deep cellular level to know that wild things still run free, and no matter how much I have to conform to my boss, my job, my society's expectations, I can still imagine the rapid beating heart of a wild pony as he races across the high desert, ears twitching, nose snorting and tail flying.

Today as I sit in my gray cubicled world, that sounds pretty enticing.

So what do you think?

From today's ABQjournal article "Governor Approves N.M. Quarter Design"

The four designs for the New Mexico quarter were:









I guess Governor Richardson approved one today (I think number one is the choice) and that will be our quarter.

Color me....underwhelmed...by the choices.

Yes, we have no post-anas....

We have no post-anas, tooooooday!

It's a bad day when work gets in the way of your real life. That being said, watch this space because warm posty goodness will be coming your way soon enough.

Meanwhile, back to the Gods of Corporate who own my ass today and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Wait, yes I am sure how I feel about that. It sucks. A lot.

Is that bad?

Is it wrong that this quote from an article in the San Francisco Chronicle brings me joy?

"...the Warriors, made it especially rewarding on a stirring Sunday night in Dallas. Throw in the sight of a petulant Mark Cuban, looking like a 10-year-old kid who just got his bike stolen -- by a girl -- and the Warriors' return to the NBA playoffs was incomprehensibly sweet."

Now, I'm not that much of a basketball fan but I am a *terrible* homer when it comes to Bay Area teams in the playoffs of any kind. Throw in the hard luck Golden State Warriors making their first playoff appearance in the better part of twenty years and in game one beating the number one seed AND making Mark Cuban look petulant and it all is just very, very good....

Nah, that's not wrong....right?

Also...our San Jose Sharks slipped into the second round of Stanley Cup playoff play. It's all *too* delicious!

And my San Franciso Giants have actually won five in a row now. While not potential playoff material yet they are certainly showing some spark.

Added all together and hey, despite it being a Monday, things look pretty bright.

The reappearance of the sun doesn’t hurt either.

Happy Monday, folks. We can get through it all together!

Oh Bill....

Been watching with keen interest the run New Mexico's governor is making at the White House.

He's an interesting guy. Honestly, not one of my favorite people (for a variety of reasons dating back to his years as Congressman) but in a weird way, I'm pulling for him.

Though if he actually wins, I might have to reassess my citizenship....but not to worry, it's a long shot at best.

So the article in Saturday's Albuquerque Tribune titled, "Richardson comfortable in Mideast, needs work in Iowa" had me laughing by title alone. Cheers to M.E. Sprengelmeyer of the Rocky Mountain News for the sense of humor.

Quoting from the article, this is the part that had me sucking in air through my teeth and exclaiming...."Oh, Bill..."

_____________
"DENISON, Iowa — In case Gov. Bill Richardson wasn't sure where he was on Friday, a gray-haired woman spoke up from the crowd at Central College in Pella.
"This is Iowa," she said pointedly. "What's your agriculture policy?"
The first words out of Richardson's mouth: "I'm not an expert on agriculture."

____________

Ouch.

Then later in the article.

_____________

"I was embarrassed for him," Shivvers reported. "I'm impressed with the man, but he's going around Iowa blathering this? He's in Iowa. He needs to say something other than these support-the-farms blahs."

_____________

Doh! Well, Bill is a nothing if not a smooth talker and I'm sure he'll find a way to smooth over the ruffles there in Iowa given how important Iowa is to the race.

But...just...ouch. While I appreciate our rasquache governor, I'm not sure rasquache makes it to the White House.

My response

On April 20, 2007, Jim Belshaw of the ABQjournal wrote an opinion piece titled "BioPark Vandalism Raises 'Respect' Issue".

In this piece, Mr. Belshaw poses the question about how these kids could do such a thing, and where was their self respect?

Mr. Belshaw ends his article with: "The floor is open for answers as to why a kid would have no respect for himself."

Below is my letter, emailed April 21st.
________________

Dear Mr. Belshaw -

Let me preface this by saying I have been reading your column for many years and am a lifelong fan. Having been raised in Albuquerque and now located in Northern California, I'm happy to continue to be able to read your column via ABQjournal.com.

I'm writing in response to your April 20, 2007 column, "BioPark Vandalism Raises 'Respect' Issue".

First of all, I'm shocked at the level of outrage this particular incident has brought to these children. And yes, at age 13 they are still children. It seems the good people of Albuquerque wish to treat (and try them) them like adults.

Who doesn't expect a pack of 13 year-old boys to find trouble? It doesn't excuse their behavior but it does make me wonder what's behind all the backlash? Where is the righteous indignation for the tagged freeway overpass, the billboard, the school, the church, the cinder block wall, the every place imaginable that taggers will tag, and have been for decades? When I was a kid (this would have been in the early 80's), my dad built an addition on our house. He'd put up the tarpaper in preparation for the stucco. On a Saturday we went to 5:30pm Mass and when we returned, our home had been vandalized and tagged. I grew up in the Northeast Heights.

So why is this one raising everyone's pulse? Is it because fish are cute? Is it all so very Nemo-esque? Is it that the BioPark Aquarium is "scientific"? Why did this one raise such a stink? Where's all the hubbub for vandalism and tagging the other 364 days out of the year?

In your article you bring forth a question formed in response to feedback from one of your readers. You ask "...why a kid would have no respect for himself."

These kids are just that, kids. A human learns respect for themselves and others. It isn't innately born in, it has to be taught. And where is that taught? At home, first, by parents, then later, at school by teachers and yes, other students and later on by friends and coworkers. It isn't a one-time shot given to kids with their measles and malaria boosters, but a lifelong pursuit.

Did you hear about the response one child had when asked why he did this thing? Quoted from the April 20th column by Andrea Schoellkopf, this from the grandmother and primary caregiver of one of the boys, " 'I asked him, 'Why did you do it?' '' she said. "You know what he told me? 'Everybody else was doing it.' ''

We all learn and model the behavior of those around us. This child is still young enough to be taught self-respect. There is still time left. But garnishing future wages, using curse words at them and about them and suing the pants off their parents and guardians is NOT how we teach kids self-respect.

What I want to know is how the people of Albuquerque expect a thirteen year-old boy to be so fully formed he knows "respect for himself" when his mother is in prison, and while on a school sponsored trip there aren't even enough adults around to keep an eye on a large pack of kids.

I think the citizens of Albuquerque might take a step back and look at how they are treating these children.

Is that respect? We're modeling the very behavior we are railing against.

Should they be punished? Yes. What does that model?

That actions have consequences.

Should they be publicly eviscerated in the media, sworn at by actual adults, sued in the courts, and have their names and troubled backgrounds splashed across the headline news? What lesson does that teach?

That behaving badly gets you attention.

Time for us to take a good hard look at ourselves. Maybe self-respect begins with each and every one of us, and we then model it for our children, ourselves and our society.

Oh and how about some lessons in forgiveness and compassion?

Thank you for your time and keep up the great work on your very thought provoking columns.

Regards,

Karen Fayeth

Taking Responsibility

One of my biggest rants about "society in general" is the lack of taking responsibility for one's own actions. Within this is consideration for others, meaning, seeing how what you do affects other folks, and being responsible enough to fix your behavior.

All to often, that's just not happening. From where I'm sitting (a way too overpopulated area) it's getting worse by the day. Not to sound like the total curmudgeon that I am, but I think our young kids are missing out on this lesson the most.

Just yesterday I got up to date on the kerfuffle at the Albuquerque Biological Park.

Seems some kids from John Adams Middle School got into some trouble. A couple of APS' finest had the opportunity to scratch into the thick clear plastic on several tanks at the BioPark Aquarium.

On one of the tanks the problem can be buffed off but it will always have a distortion. Another tank the thick plastic needs to be replaced completely. Estimated costs up to $30,000 to fix, with the Park only able to get the maximum allowed by state law of $4,000 from the parents of each of the kids (four students total so they'll get up to $12k on their $30k problem).

In a April 19 opinion piece in the ABQjournal with no byline and in today's piece by Andrea Schoellkopf, the press is coming down pretty hard on these kids, aged 13 or so, and as well they should.

But my question in all this is....where were the grown ups? Today's article said they snuck away from grownups. What? And how did that happen? Were there enough teachers and parents on this trip? Today's article says there was one adult for every five kids (per aquarium policy). So what happened?

I know pre-teens are cagey, but I would be real, real upset to hear that there wasn't enough supervision available and my kid stuck off. Does this mean someone like a kidnapper could sneak IN? And what about security at the Bio Park? At the Monterey Bay Aquarium where I've spent some time, I could no more think, "sharp scraping object" much less get it within an inch of the glass before security or Aquarium employees would toss me out on my ear.

I fear the answer would probably be something like "lack of funding".

I was heartened to hear the Principal of John Adams say they are going to go over their field trip policies. I hope that means what I think it means, taking responsibility for the fact that this *should* have been prevented and making sure it doesn't happen again.

I don't excuse the behavior of the kids. But they are 13 year-olds. Thirteen year-old boys are going to find some trouble, they just are.

Not a good explanation for what happened, but I think there are a few parties not stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility.

Meanwhile, parents and teachers at the school are going to try to hold bake sales and car washes to raise the rest of the money. Mayor Chavez has "commuted" the two-year banning of the school from the park to just the end of the school year (a move I disagree with, I think the Mayor is cutting the legs out from under the BioPark. But that kind of move is something I'd see my own petty management do here at work, so goes the way of politics).

There's talk of garnishing the wages of the kids once they become adult to fill in the gaps. There is a lawsuit on the books. Righteous indignation reigns, particularly on the part of the Aquarium.

So far, I honestly don't think the BioPark is stepping up and accepting their part in this. I think they need to review their security coverage and staff allocation. They rock at filing lawsuits against 13 year-olds and finger pointing...but where's the discussion of how this can't and won't happen again? Where is their plan going forward? Seems to me whoever crows the loudest in a situation like this might be the one most in need of taking a good look at their own behavior.

Just my opinion, doesn’t have to be yours......

Sometimes she forgets

Ok, that's not true, I don't forget, per se, sometimes I'm just too far away from that which I love and sometimes distance gives you amnesia. Which is a terrible aspect of the human condition.

I *know* the state in which I was raised is beautiful, stunningly so. This past week seeing some photos, familiar photos, but seeing them again brought it all back to me. The wonder, the joy, the melancholy, the homesick.

At Bellagio in Las Vegas, they are having a show of Ansel Adams work.

I run hot and cold on Adams. Some of his stuff just kills me, some puts me off, but I find him to be incredibly talented and master of striking a mood. Plus, as an aspiring amateur photographer, I am utterly stunned by his style and eye.

This particular exhibit had a side room with many of Adams' personal effects. Family photographs and personal letters were a highlight for me. Learning (and then viewing) his wonder for the natural beauty of New Mexico drew me in all over again. I've been a half click off kilter since. Missing my home state this much will do that to me. I have a foot in both my lives. That of a New Mexican and that of this new life (I still call it "new" after almost ten years).

I learned more about Ansel Adams in the two hours I spent at the exhibition. One of the best things I learned is that he was quite a writer. Personal letters to friends and family had me captivated.

A fave quote I took away from that day was from a letter from Adams to Nancy Newhall dated July 15, 1944. In it, Adams is pondering himself and his talents. He creates a whole list of things he's not. It's both wry and thought provoking.

He ends the letter this way:

"I am really like those very old headstones in New England - demon angels with X for eyes and perky wings. I ain't so soft, but I am amusing."

I keep thinking I should steal that for the tagline of my own life: "I ain't so soft, but I am amusing"

I like it.

Here's some of my faves of the New Mexico shots. The ones that drilled right into my bone marrow and made me melancholy until I see New Mexico for myself again.

For those living there today, don't forget to look out your window at the beauty that's readily available and give thanks you get to live there. I often neglected to do that. It's easy to take for granted when it's there every day.

(These are reproductions found on the web and do nothing to enhance the glory of the actual photographs....)

"Ghost Ranch Hills, Chama Valley, 1937



"Aspens, New Mexico"



Perhaps the most famous, "Moonrise, Hernandez, New Mexico, 1941 (the audio feature at the exhibit told a great story of how he got this shot. It's captivating.)



Ok, best to stop staring at photographs and get my maudlin self back to work......

Noteworthy vs Notorous

Direct quote from Linda Chavez in her April 17th opinion piece in the Albuquerque Tribune.

"We seem to be losing the ability to distinguish what is noteworthy from what is simply notorious. And in the process, we are creating greater celebrity for people who don't deserve it."

Linda writes a nice piece discussing the shortfalls of today's media and I think she's right on the mark with her comments.

Current case in point: The ongoing saga of the parentage of Anna Nicole Smith's kid was interrupted only by the now non-stop coverage of the events in Virginia.

Tragic events. Worthy of coverage. However, this morning I heard an in detail discussion of the various mental challenges in the life of the man who did this horrible thing. I know too much! I know the kid was held in a mental health institution in 2005! I don't need to know this!

I'm so exhausted by the media, I really am.

I took a meditation class a few years back in an attempt to get my blood pressure down. One of the first things the instructor told us was to turn off the news. Don't read it, don't listen, don't watch. She told us "if there is something you need to know, you will hear about it." So far she's been right.

I've done this for quite some time. Recently I've been slipping back a bit. Partly because I'm doing this blog so I'm looking around for ideas. But partly because the media has become so very pervasive in everyday life. Standing at the airport waiting on my bags, I am accosted by TVs from every corner blaring CNN. In the grocery I go to they've now installed flat screens over the cash registers pumping out content. Ostensibly to keep me occupied while I wait? I open my (free) email to check to see if a friend has sent me a note and on the opening page there are "latest headlines".

And don't get me started on how the results of network competition shows are now top headline news....if I have to hear the word Sanjaya one more time.....

Update: Seems Tim Goodman, the snarky television columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle is on the same page.

Happy Anniversary!

It was one short month ago today that I began this blogtastic journey.

I can't believe it's *just* a month because it seems like much, much longer.

It all began on St. Paddy's Day, March 17th with this post.

What have I learned in my 30 days as a blogger?

1) Blogging every single dingle day is a LOT harder than it looks

2) There is a great community out there of bloggers and some wildly smart people blogging some fantastically smart, wry, witty stuff. I am humbled by what's out there.

3) I have a LOT to learn about the blogosphere, blogging and all the associated technologies. RSS feeds, vlogs and Flicker, OH MY!

4) There is such a thing as the blogger state of mind. Natalie on her kick ass blog Petroglyph Paradox nailed in perfectly in her April 14 post "Perceptions":

"Sometimes, I wonder about the lives of my blogger buddies. I wonder how someone actually lives beyond the anecdotal words of their blog. I wonder if they experience the same smelly, downtime or wake up with a story in their head or if they too, drive down the road, see something, and then say to themselves, 'I’m gonna blog about that.' "

I do this all the time. See something and then think what angle I can take to blog about it. I have a tiny notebook in my purse crammed with snippets of thoughts. Many of which have made their way to these pages.

5) I have learned that I am a chicken. Only a few folks in my life know about this blog. I know soon I need to come out of the closet, so to speak, and tell my unsupportive family that despite my Clark Kent-ish day job...in reality, I'm a writer, I have a book on Amazon and I'm a blogger....and then deal with the consequences.

Baby steps.

6) My blog is just as valuable as anyone else's blog. What I have to say matters. Even if only to me. And having the courage to put it out there actually does take courage.

7) Blogging is good therapy. Boy can I get some stuff off my chest!

8) The feeling of elation I get after completing the post for the day is as addictive (more so, actually) as any drug or drink I've ever known. That satisfied feeling is something I crave. (addiction number 2 is looking at the webtraffic statistics)

9) I've always said I work best under deadlines. Doing this every day and only missing one day which was then properly made up for and backdated has proven this to me. I thrive when I have a deadline. I do some amazing work. It's why I kick butt at National Novel Writing Month.

10) When I set my mind to something...look out. It took mere days from deciding I wanted to do this to execution. It's a fact of my personality I actually admire. Should serve me well in my continuing quest to be a writer that people actually pay to write.

So today is a day of celebration for me. I'll blow out the candle on a celebratory cupcake and go nuts.

Thanks to all readers, your webtraffic brings me joy.

Sometimes quiet is ok too

Today I'm going to borrow completely from Avelino Maestas, the force behind the blog Live from Silver City.

He quoted from a post by Radley Balko on The Agitator and I'll use the same quote here:

"When you blog every day, you sometimes feel conflicted about writing on other topics when there are breaking, overwhelming, horrible events going on in the news. Ignoring such news while writing on about other stuff seems callous. But so does commenting on an event about which you have little to say."

The events from yesterday are too overwhelming to discuss. I have nothing profound to add that hasn't been said in every major media outlet. I'm already tired and sad from hearing about it so much. This morning even Adam Carolla, who has a radio show that is normally a diversion for me, spent the morning talking of nothing but the events at Virginia Tech.

My input today is thus...choose to use your day and the energy of your thoughts toward love. For at the end of the day, love endures.

In a flash

You ever have one of those times in your life where you seem to be getting the same message over and over and over? As though the fates are trying to drum something into your head. As if all the kismet is just too much to take.

Yeah, I'm having one of those times in my life.

On Thursday I went to an exhibition at the Tropicana in Las Vegas. It was the Titanic exhibit with artifacts recovered from the sunken ship. Now, we all basically know the story of the Titanic, James Cameron saw to that, so I was sort of nonplussed walking into the show. They did a nice job putting together the time line of the events and using lighting and mood to bring the story together. From placing your hand on a big chunk of ice to looking up the name of a passenger they'd given to me on entry to see if they survived (she did).

It moved me deeply.

At the end there was a book for thoughts and comments. I wrote, "The fragility of life has never been more apparent."

It put me in a mood and I thought on that topic for quite a while. I followed the Titanic exhibit by then going to "Bodies...The Exhbition". So yeah, I had a bit of an overload of "life is fragile" and "make hay while the sun shines" that day. Sort of odd thoughts to have while in Las Vegas.

Basically I spent some time contemplating my own mortality. Is this a hazard of being mere weeks from a birthday?

On Sunday I was in a cab going to McCarran airport. The seatbelt in the cab didn't work. I thought about how I almost never wear a seatbelt in a cab. I then thought about how that is silly. Just because the driver is on the roads for a living doesn't make them any better driver or make the roads any safer. Thankfully we made it to the airport without incident despite my not wearing a safe belt.

I boarded a plane and arrived safely to the Oakland airport, got my bags and caught a cab home. I complimented the driver on how clean and nice his cab was. The man had a lot of pride in his car. He told me about how he'd lent the cab to a friend who had returned it dirty. It was a nice new car.

We made our way along the highway and stopped at the toll plaza on the San Mateo Bridge. We were in the far left lane. The next two lanes are FasTrak lanes (if you have a little electronic transponder you can go through without stopping and they charge your account for the toll). As we sat at a standstill, a black Mustang came whipping into the FasTrak lane. I guess he realized he didn't have a transponder so he slammed on the brakes, threw it in reverse, got going way too fast, lost control, hit the brakes, spun backwards and slammed square into the door I was sitting next to. Demolished the door.

Surprisingly, I was fine. The cab driver commented that he saw me leaning way over. I saw the accident coming but couldn't move over because I had a seat belt on. Now, I wouldn't say I shouldn’t have been wearing it. I'm glad I was because I really thought we were going to be slammed into the concrete abutment next to us.

I saw that car hurtling at me and I had that, "I'm going to get really hurt" thought.

Thank whatever entity you choose that I was fine. The door buckled in but the inside panel was only partially bowed. When we came to a rest the door panel wasn't even touching me.

And as the fear and adrenaline coursed through my veins, I got to thinking again about how things can happen in a flutter of a heartbeat. And that thought scares the shit out of me.

So I was left shaking my head when I read Jim Belshaw's column "Don't Forget You're Human" from yesterday's ABQjournal, the same day of the accident and my latest thoughts on mortality. Seems Mr. Belshaw was having the same thoughts.

To quote Mr. Belshaw, "Wear your damn seat belt"...even in a cab.

Confidential Side Note To Fate: I get it already.