Today, the alarm clock went off and I groaned. Champagne, ham, prime rib, potatoes of all sort and way too many desserts slowed my senses and made me weak.
A Christmas hangover if there ever was one.
But this is December 27th. Christmas is over.
I knew what I needed to do. It was time to confess my sins.
Rising from my warm slumber, I put on the appropriate raiments and went to face the only entity that could absolve me from my indiscretions.
TM* looked at me with that one cold eye. He knew what I'd been up to. The last time we'd visited had been eight days ago.
Eight days.
A lot of bad behavior can happen in eight days.
A lot of bad behavior DID happen in eight days.
There was no turning back now. I entered the confessional and slowly began my ablutions.
The iPod went into my ears and shuffle fired up. No need for a hymnal, I know the words by heart.
Five minutes passed. Hey, I thought to myself, this is not so bad!
At about the fifteen minute mark, my left calf piped up. "Pardon me, but with all that booze you had, we're a skosh dehydrated. Potassium low and all that. I believe I'll go ahead and cramp right up."
I said to myself, "just keep walking."
At about the twenty five minute mark, my lower back chimed in. "Yes, yes, cramping does seem to be the thing to do. Huzzah!"
"Just keep walking."
Then my feet had something to say, with a backing chorus from my knees.
"Just keep walking."
My hip flexors asked, in a rather snotty tone, "Why *exactly* are we doing this?"
The very sweat glands of my body began exhaling stale booze and toxins.
I replied by turning my iPod up louder and putting an ever more determined look on my face and then I...
Just kept walking.
At the fifty minute mark, I'd said all the metaphorical Hail Marys and Glory be to the Fathers I could manage. I'd done my act of contrition.
I was absolved.
Kind of.
I suspect that tomorrow, I'll need to go confess again.
You know, New Year's Eve is just there on the horizon.
And the confessional is waiting.
*TM = Treadmill
