While getting ready for work this morning, The Feline was busting my chops. She likes to do this, especially when I'm tired and groggy at oh-dark-thirty in the morning.
Sometimes I humor the animal (or, er, myself) and have a "conversation." It goes something like this:
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Feline: Meow!
Me: What's that you say?
Feline: Meow!
Me: Constantinople? Really?
Feline: Meeeow!
Me: Met at the bazaar? You know, they don't even call it Constantinople any more. You're so old fashioned.
Feline: Meow!
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That is but one example.
So this morning, The Feline and I engaged in another of our lengthy conversations. Here's the rough transcript:
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Feline: MEOW!
Me: Had a bad dream, huh? Sorry to hear it.
Feline: Meow
Me: Maybe you should try cutting the kibble ration and sleeping less?
Feline: Meow!
Me: That's interesting. You know they say a dream about eating fish means many conflicting things. Could be attachment issues.
Feline: Meow!
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It was then that I thought to myself, "Hey, I could do that whole Pet Psychic routine. This is easy!"
Why did my brain drift over to "Pet Psychic?"
I'll tell you why.
Recently, I pitched a literary agent about my latest work. Last week, I got feedback from the agent. He said (in not so many words) that a main plot point of my story wasn't entirely plausible.
I found that odd, since that plot point was something that had actually happened in my life ("write what you know!").
But ok, I took his very professional feedback to heart (maybe too much to heart, if you were to ask The Good Man).
With that in mind, I went to the library to check out items in the "new fiction" section to see what IS plausible enough to get published these days.
That's where I found this gem.
"Pet psychic, radio host, four-time widow, and dedicated rescuer of distressed animals, Mary Catherine rushes in to help a turtle stranded in a house, only to stumble over a body. With the rescued turtle as the only witness, MC works with the initially skeptical police to discover the real murderer."
Unh huh. So a pet psychic getting the eyewitness account from a turtle IS plausible enough to be published?
Ooookaaay.
And the clincher from the book jacket:
"Includes recipes for pet treats!"
Well there you have it.
The Feline remains non-plussed.
