Dear Mother Nature,

As you know, over the years you and I have enjoyed an especially close relationship. You bring me the sun and the ocean and endless blue skies. You are in charge of all that is outdoors that I love and enjoy.

And you do a fine job of it, don't get me wrong.

Being a woman as you are, we all know that we ladies can be prone to *moods*, and that is to be expected. Fickle moods. Cranky moods. Just...moods.

Over the years I've forgiven a lot of your more extreme bouts of moodiness.

Remember the time I had to dive into a wet alfalfa field because you struck the telephone pole I was walking past with a big blast of lightening?

Yeah. I forgave.

Remember I cried my eyes out in the winter of 1997 (that so called El Niño winter) because I thought it would never stop raining?

Remember that time I drove to Silver City, New Mexico on the hottest day of the year? My car was overheating, so I had to turn on the heater to help keep it cool enough to finish the trip, and when I arrived, I realized I'd sweated through all of my clothing?

That wasn't fun.

But I've been able to let by gones be by gones.

You are entitled to be a little whimsical now and again. Heck, enjoy yourself!

But this year...well, I think it's time we have a serious talk.

You *might* need to seek professional help for this schizophrenic behavior you are exhibiting.

It's sunny, it's rainy, it's too hot, then it's too cold.

You can't seem to make up your mind, alternating between sunny and rainy on a given day!

Ma'am, today is the frapping twenty seventh day of May.

May. You remember? Spring?

When the birds sing and the sun shines and a (straight) young man's fancy turns towards young ladies in short skirts?

No one wears short skirts in the drenching rain!

Um. Look. I just did my toes and they are a fabulous shade of melon pink. I want to show them off.

When it's fiercely raining and yes, HAILING outside, I can't show of my fabulously painted toes because they are covered by my wellies.

Ok, look. I understand that living in Northern California means ya gotta accept the rain. I get that. But c'mon! Can't you give a desert born and raised girl a break?

And let's talk about my friends in places like Utah and Colorado who are getting SNOW?

Look sister, you need to get a hold of yourself!

Might I remind you that this weekend is Memorial Day? Hot dogs and cookouts and the beginning of summer fun?

So why *exactly* is there rain and snow in the forecast?

You know, they make meds that can help this condition.

Why don't I make you an appointment? Maybe some talk therapy will help you work out your issues.

I'm here to support you. Just so you know...I'm a much more supportive friend in the sunshine.

I'm just saying.

(bonus points if you remember the tagline from this commercial)

Did you get healed?

Recently, driving around in the Jeep looking for something good to listen to on the radio, I began to think about a CD I own.

By thinking, I mean, wondering where it is. When The Good Man and I moved in together several years ago, I boxed up a lot of stuff and stored it away.

Over the years, occasionally I'll remember something that I want or need and it's a hell of a rodeo to find it.

So I put the thought out of mind. Whatever. It's just a CD. I can probably find it on iTunes or at the library or something.

I tried to dismiss it.

But this thought came with a long strip of Velcro, and wouldn't let go.

A voice in my mind kept asking, "Where is that CD? You need to listen to it."

When you get a voice that adamant, it's kind of hard to ignore.

But I tried.

And tried.

And failed.

Resigned to satisfying that damn voice so it would shut up, I suited up. Our storage is under the place we rent, and that happened to be a very cold and very rainy day.

Determined, under the house I went, poking around in boxes and bags, knocking stuff over and getting lost on that long winding lane called Memory.

Finally, I did find a very heavy box that had a bunch of CD's, and also most of my VHS movies, that I'd packed away.

I heaved, grunted and lurched the box upstairs and started picking through it.

A lot of heavy memory stuff burbled to the top, clamoring for my attention, which I gave.

But nothing quieted the voice. I kept digging and finally, yes, I found the CD I was looking for.

Best of the Blues, Vol. 1

Yeah. A "best of" compilation. Forgive me ye Gods of the Blues.

I bought this CD back in 1997. I'd just moved to the Bay Area and some good friends (also New Mexico transplants) had introduced me to the thriving blues scene in San Francisco.

I only tangentially knew the music. I'd listened to some B.B. King, some Muddy Waters and some John Lee Hooker in my time. The popular stuff. The stuff everyone knows.

But back then, San Francisco was steeped in the old ways.

During the course of the next decade, I received what can only be called a Blues Education.

I watched some of the not only best blues musicians, but best musicians period, play in craptastic bars like the old Grant & Green (the remodel took the soul out of it) and of course The Saloon, the oldest continually operating bar in the beautiful City of San Francisco. It dates back to the 1861, which means it survived both the 'quake of 1906 and Prohibition.

There were nights it was too cramped and too hot (and back then, too smoky) in The Saloon for my tastes, so I would step outside the front door. I was dating a musician at the time, so the dyspeptic doorman had to be nice to me. He would let me sit on his stool by the front door where he collected the cover charge.

I'd take his chivalrous gesture and lean back against the battered wood door. I could feel the driving beat in my spine, and I'd watch the fog roll over the tops of the buildings in North Beach.

I learned about the three Kings (B.B., Freddy and Albert).

I learned about Chicago blues, Delta blues and the just plain blues blues.

I heard a thousand different versions of "Matchbox" and "Shotgun" and I watched guys try to be both Stevie Ray Vaughan and Albert King. I began to understand why some songs grab you by the gut and sometimes a song that should grab your gut doesn't (hint: it has a lot to do with the drummer).

Today, I'm a suburban girl with a quiet, happy life. No regrets here. But sometimes I miss the family I made back then who took me in, protected me and helped me learn the old ways.

You know, they call it stormy Monday...but Tuesday's just as bad.

This one musician, a hell of guitar player, used to tear it up for four hours, and at the end of the night, he'd ask the frenzied crowd, "Did you get healed?"

And he'd get crazy, drunken, full-throated hollers in return. The music mattered. It got us on a cellular level. We got healed.

I may need to see about a Saturday in North Beach soon, because something feels amiss. It may be time to go back and find if it's possible to get healed.

Until then, I'll take the ministrations from that ol' CD found at the bottom of a moving box.

Image of Ron Hacker, arguably the best slide guitar man in SF and maybe even the world, onstage at The Saloon. (No, he's not the guy I dated, I'm just a massive fan.)

Photo by Scott Palmer

As the world keeps tilting and turning

And there is nothing you or I can do about it.

Today heralds the incoming month of September.

Labor Day, the "official" end of summer, is nigh.

And, if you are perceptive, over the next days, you can sense a change in the atmosphere. The earth has moved in her orbit a tiny bit, and the angle of the rays from the sun are a little less direct, a bit less overhead, more muted.

The days get moment by moment shorter.

When the breeze blows by on a warm day, you catch the faintest bit of chill in the air. Almost imperceptible, but it is there.

And Fall starts to move in, unpack its red and gold and yellow hued bags, and set up residence.

September is the month of still summer warm days but cooler nights. Of State Fairs and rodeos and roasting chiles. In the Bay Area, the crab fishermen start patching nets and negotiating rates, getting ready for the Fall harvest.

An extra blanket may find its way onto my bed. The Feline will sleep a little closer to her humans.

There is talk of Halloween in the air. "What are you going to be" and bags of miniature chocolate bars for sale.

Soon pumpkins will be lit with candles and ghouls will rule the night.

But today, oh today. Today is still baseball and flip flops and cinnamon flavored churros. In small towns, talk of "will that steer take the blue ribbon this year" and kids are back in school and the public pools grow quieter.

The day is still warm and I still grip, and grip *hard*, to the last, butter slippery straws of summer.

When reality reaches up and grabs you by the throat

I have a milestone birthday coming up in May. It is an age I'm not sure I'm happy about being.

Ok, fine, I have to get old. Everyone does it (barring the alternative, of course). I'm ok with it.

Until I'm reminded clearly and plainly how old and out of it I am.

It began, this past weekend, with the shopping excursion to procure new jeans (see previous post for my thoughts on that). While out and about, I wandered into a store called Anchor Blue.

I'd seen an article in a trashy gossip magazine last week while at the dentist's office about "the best jeans." There was a pair of Anchor Blue jeans featured that looked like I'd be happy with them.

So. Anchor Blue. I'd seen the store but had never actually been inside before.

Well. If you go to the webpage (linked above) you'll see several fresh, dewey-faced CHILDREN on the splash page, showing you just how cool and beautiful YOU can be if you wear their clothing.

Walking into the store, I practically coughed dust and picked cryptkeeper tendrils from my person as I looked around and the clerks looked at me.

I did, actually, pick out a few pairs of jeans to try on, none of them the fabulous pair I'd seen in the magazine, of course.

So, yes, happily, the jeans I'd picked fit me. Well. Sort of. I mean, I could get them on and button them.

But to look in the mirror, you could see clearly where the jeans ended (below my hipbones) and my (evidently) granny panties continued on.

Now, I don't wear old lady briefs (yet)...what I wear are respectable cotton bikini chones. But in the spotlight of Logan's Run (In case you missed that film, everyone is executed at age 30), my respectable bikini yonderwear appear to be practically up to my ribcage (just below what they must believe to be my sagging boobs).

I may as well give over to the white belt and Velcro shoes ferchrissakes!

So I gave up on those jeans, but continued to look around the store. I checked out accessories.

They had quite the assortment of Che Guevara-style caps for the ladies. I want to look like an Argentinean communist revolutionary why again?

I looked at skirts. I have this little cloth that I use to clean my glasses. That cloth is larger than these "skirts." Even if I could get a lens cloth skirt to fit me...no, it's too terrible, I can't even go there.

Fine. Thus ended my shopping trip.

Sunday rolled around and The Good Man and I traveled up to Muir Beach to meet with some friends. "Take a walk," they said. Oh, sure, yes! A walk on a sunny day would be nice. Maybe even help me work off some calories in hopes of wearing that lens cloth to dinner!

These folks are all about my same age...well, TGM and his best friend are a year younger. And the best friend's wife is a couple years younger still. Ok, so I'm the matron of the bunch, what of it?

So we walk on the beach a bit and then decide to hike a trail. Fun!

An uphill trail.

What?

So evidently that one-year age difference between TGM's and me is a huge gap, because all of my friends scampered up the hill while I was in the back gasping for air and feeling my thighs wobbling.

Now, the other lady in our group is in knockout shape, I forgive her. But TGM and his buddy have no excuse. They billy-goated they way up the hill with ease, leaving me with hands on knees feeling like I was going to puke.

I was further insulted when a tiny fourteen year-old dog named Chester paced me, turned and ran halfway back down the hill to greet his people, then turned around and paced me again.

His legs are three inches long!

Damn you Chester!

Now it is Monday and my legs hurt. My lungs still burn a little and I'm faced with my group of fifteen employees, not a ONE of them over the age of 30.

I remember 30. That was a good year. My thirties...yes, a fine decade. *sigh*

One of ours finds her way back home

After moving to the Bay Area back in 1997, I settled into my new apartment, without any friends or family to speak of. I was completely alone in a big town. It was at once both terrifying and exhilarating.

I knew very few places I could drive to without getting lost, but I made myself the solemn promise that I would not just stay holed up in my apartment. I would leave the house and explore, even if it tested my bounds of comfort. And it did.

On earlier visits to the area for work, some people I knew in the East Bay had taken me to a restaurant in San Francisco. They had given me directions to get there, and I still remembered the route. I recalled the food was good and the people who worked there were nice.

So it became a steady destination. The restaurant is named Sodini's, and I've spoken about it here before. If you've been out to visit me, I've likely taken you there.

Anyhow, as I went out every weekend, a little New Mexico girl picking hayseeds out of her hair, the people at Sodini's began to know me. They looked after me. They gave me advice on how to live in the Bay Area, and they protected me.

Usually, I'd eat at Sodini's then go across the street to a bar called The Grant and Green to listen to live music. Once in there, a part time cocktail waitress, part time stripper took over looking out for me. She was beautiful but also one tough lady. She would scare off guys she knew were bad news who had come sidling up to me, or would shout down anyone trying to run a scam on me (there were plenty who tried. What did I know? They didn't have people like this in Albuquerque).

Then, several months later, I began idly dating a blues musician. So now I really had reason to be in North Beach. The blues scene is thriving. Over plenty of nights in various North Beach bars, I became a regular. I became part of the North Beach family. A loose band of a variety of strange and not so strange. Some talented. Some educated. Some rich. Some homeless. We are a little bit of everything. I've both been read to from Plato and offered the chance to buy crack in the same evening.

As motley as these folks are, truly, they became my family. I was often alone considering my boyfriend was a working musician. The more I fretted, the more they looked out for me. And I began looking out for them, too.

With all of the people I knew who lived on the streets, I began to worry about them. My big heart would be crushed if I didn't see Willie on his regular street corner, playing harmonica to cheer passerby. Or if Lorne wasn't standing outside Café Trieste, looking for some money or maybe to fix someone's car for a couple bucks. And then there was Millie.

She's about four feet nothing and would bop from bar to restaurant to bar with a huge gap toothed grin and a Polaroid camera. For $5, she'd take your photo and then give you the biggest hug you've ever received from someone so little. Her smile would brighten the entire room.

As the years passed, things turned rather sour with the musician. Then I went through an odyssey of my own psyche. And to add to all of that, then my father passed away. All life changing events.

I stopped going to North Beach so much. When I did go, my family would hug me, ask after my health, worry over me and welcome me home. Then they'd chide me for being gone so long.

Finally, as more years passed, I was alone again and unable to get up the courage to explore like I had before. Things were changing. I was changing. I was profoundly alone and considerably lost.

Then on a sunny day in November, my gray skies parted when I met The Good Man. For a while when we first dated, he lived in North Beach, which meant I visited my old haunts with a new set of eyes and a new man in tow. My North Beach family eyed him warily at first, but were soon as charmed as I over The Good Man.

But, to be honest, that's not the point of my story. The point is this...recently our friend Millie, the cheery, adorable Polaroid taking woman had gone missing. I'd heard this through the grapevine and was sick to my heart. She isn't a young lady, and I feared she'd ended up like a lot of my family and succumbed on a cold San Francisco night.

I cried this morning when read this article in the SFGate.

Millie was found in a Reno hospital after taking a bus up there and getting turned around. Some kind folks went up and brought her home.

She's back in North Beach with her Polaroid and her amazing smile.

I don't get back to North Beach all that much anymore. The Good Man and I moved into our place on the peninsula and now we're all married and domesticated and living our new lives together. That's ok too. It does my heart good to know that even though I'm not still running around North Beach, that my people are there and they are okay.

I'm a strange kid, I'm the first to admit it. I can manage to be homesick over two places at the same time. Both New Mexico and the Bay Area beat inside my heart. I'm not sure how to ever resolve that.

I'm not sure I even want to try.

Photo from the SFGate.

Rumor has it

So. Word on the street is that today is December.

But I'm not buyin' it.

Because I'm fairly certain I did NOT authorize 2008 to dissipate so quickly.

Nope. No way. No how. I don't care that people are Christmas shopping. I don't care that decorations are cropping up. Nope.

Nuh uh.

Not gonna do it.

Oh, and *someone* must have told the Bay Area that it's December today because it went and got all overcast and foggy and crappy and, well, wintry.

I'm telling you, if we all band together against this thing, it doesn't HAVE to be December. Roll back the calendar, get the sun out of storage and let's go on about our lives circa, I don't know, June?

How does June work for you? Do I hear a July? Going once, going twice...

Please stand by...I'm going to go see about fixing this.

Slacker

Lazybones

Laggard

Sluggard

Loafer

Shirker

So endeth the thesaurus list.

Today, I am a slacker (sluggard?).

Today, I join the great masses of the unemployed.

Ne'er do well.

Thankfully, my shirker ways will end in exactly one week when I begin my new job and a whole new adventure.

I spent nine and a half years toiling for my former employer, and it was with a heavy heart that I left on Friday.

But ultimately, though painful, it was the right decision.

Next Monday I start with a company that is consistently in the top ten "best places to work". We'll see in the coming months whether or not I agree with that assessment, eh?

But for today, I'm a layabout. And I like it. Maybe a little too much.

Sigh

Another one bites the dust.

After nearly 40 years, Rolling Stone magazine is whittling down its trademark size. It will now look like every other magazine on the stands.

Ugh.

When I was 15, I had a subscription to Rolling Stone (thanks to the kindness of my mom, thanks mom!). I read it cover to cover every month, drinking in the journalism, the hot, hot interviews and the hip quality of it all.

I stopped subscribing when they went from newspaper print style to glossy pages. It wasn't the paper, it was the quality of the product. Rotten.

So to be fair I haven't read Rolling Stone in a good long while. But now, this nail in the coffin.

The magazine that was so subversive, so out there, so of-the-now is, at its heart, just another corporate owned mass-produced media product.

*sigh*

We've come a long way since RS 1:

Photo source.

Wow, a lot to be sad about these days

In short order, we've lot a lot of great voices.

As noted yesterday, Jerry Reed passed.

Also over the long weekend, Don LaFontaine passed away at the age of 68. LaFontaine was that great deep voice you'd hear in most movie trailers, "In a world…"

He was also featured in a Geico ad recently, which always gave me a chuckle.

And now today's ABQjournal reports that Harold Gans has died at the age of 85. Gans was the moaning, groaning voice of Zozobra for over forty years (retiring from the gig in '94), missing his turn at the mike only once, due to a heart attack in '82.

This year's burning of Zozobra will honor him.

That's a lot of feeling speechless in just a few days.

I'll keep my keening about the fact that Zozobra is already right around the corner to myself. : whimper :

Aw damn.

Musician Jerry Reed died today at the all too young age of 71.

Ol' Jerry was one of the first concerts I ever took in. I was with my mom, the venue was Tingley Coliseum. The event was the rodeo at the New Mexico State Fair. Yes, I know it's Expo New Mexico now. I grew up there. I call it like it was. :)

I don't remember how old I was....less than 10 I think? Yeah, it was firmly in the 70's.

I've always had a soft spot for Jer. Through all the Smokey and the Bandit movies. Through all his ridiculous and funny songs.

He was a talented man.

He will be missed. At least by me.

He lives on in my memories.

Really? No, can't be. But it is.

Labor Day. A nice three-day weekend. A day off that signifies the end of summer.

WHY GOD WHY!?!?!?!?!?

I know I can't regulate the passage of time, (cuz if I could I'd have a lot fewer birthdays I'll tell you that much…) but COME ON! How did the summer slip away so fast?

Here we are again. September.

Heck, the frappin' New Mexico State Fair (Oh, excuse me, Expo New Mexico) is just around the corner…like…starting on Friday.

The days are noticeably shortening.

Before you know it, Halloween will arrive with the chill it brings in the evening breeze. (the stores already have Halloween candy on the shelves!)

Pretty soon it will be five freaking thirty in the evening and pitch black outside...while I toil away at work.

Then the time changes.

Gah!

The Good Man spent some time last night explaining to me, again, how September and October are the *best* months in the Bay Area and I should be happy for Indian Summer. I am not.

I need sunlight! I’m a wilting flower in the hazy, cloudy skies!

(she says, whimperingly, while it's planned to be 90 degrees here today…)

*sigh*

Seasons change. People change.

Basically, if I could go back to the week of my honeymoon in the heart of summer, sitting under an umbrella by the beach, happy hour at sunset…THAT would be great.

Instead I stare mournfully out my window…at work.

Maybe this is less about the seasons on the calendar and more about the seasons of my life, eh?

For the birds

This being a grown up thing is really for the birds.

I mean, sure, being an adult has its benefits. Cookies and ice cream and beer for dinner, for example. Yeah.

I don't have to ask permission to buy a candy in the checkout line.

Disposable income.

I can tie my own shoes.

No homework.

Yeah.

But being a grown up means getting up every morning to go to work.

Trying hard to "get ahead". Get that better job. Be a better employee. Get paid more. More respect.

Sleepless nights worrying about getting that project done, or the political implications of a decision.

No summer vacation. Of if you get one, it's just a week long. Ugh.

The reason for my lament today is that we've entered the performance review stage at work. Meaning I have to write up and rate my team for the year.

Now, this isn't my first rodeo. I've done this for many years, but it never gets any easier. To reduce the sum total of another human's work for the year to a percentage number and a couple paragraphs is an agonizing process for me.

Part of what makes me a good manager is the depth of my compassion. But it's also one of my biggest limitations.

Our company gives out paltry merit raises, and it's hard to hand out a tiny raise for a hard year's work. This year, I have a pretty good boss who is helping me fight the good fight for rate increases. But I still go home a little bit demoralized.

Good thing I can have all those cookies and beer for dinner.

Image via.

So disappointing

I'm just going to say it. The Olympics. MASSIVE disappointment.

Ok, not the games themselves. No. The coverage. NBC should be shot……and their little dog Bob Costas too.

I have twice now…just twice, sat down to watch coverage during "prime time" hours.

Once was Thursday. As soon as it came on, The Good Man said, "Is Bob Costas sick or something? He looks pale."

No. Not sick. Just over made up, I think.

We tried to watch it but it was hard. The commercials. The interstitials. The "back story". The over focus on one athlete to the detriment of the others. The cutting away from beach volleyball just when it was finally getting GOOD. Ugh.

We did get to see Phelps and "the touch" that launched another gold medal.

And we saw a Swiss volleyballer throw a hissy fit.

And some track and field ladies who kick butt.

But it was SO hard to watch.

Second try was last night. As soon as I turned it on The Good Man said, "Is Bob Costas sick or something? He looks pale."

No. Still not sick. Just bad coverage.

Best line comes from Jim Baca on his blog Only in New Mexico:

"We watched the Olympics last night, or should I say the commercials on NBC which were interrupted by competition once in a while."

I tried to watch. I really did. But ended up switching over to MythBusters instead.

I remember watching the Olympics when I was a kid. It was all about the athletes. About the competition. About this amazing every four year event showcasing the best of the best.

Now it's Chinese government coverups, overblown corporate sponsorships, and focus on the most "media ready" athletes.

Depressing.

My lunch pal

I have a friend at work who, most days, I go to lunch with. Now, when I say "go to lunch" I should probably clarify.

She and I go together to the cafeteria onsite to grab some food that we take back to our respective desks. There at the desks, we eat and work, thus maximizing our time. You'd be surprised how busy noontime can be, seeing as we have main offices two time zones ahead…two o'clock there seems like a nice time for a meeting. Ugh.

My pal has worked here for a while, like me, and she and I are at the same level, reporting to the same manager.

We use the time on our walks to seek advice from each other. We talk over management problems. Or just to complain, because our employer inspires that in most of its employees.

She was raised in Ohio by a Steel Magnolia-of-a-mom straight out of the deep South. So that's given her a certain, uh, colorfulness that is often amusing.

Lunch Pal is having some problems on her team, which means she gets pulled into last minute meetings and closed-door discussions in the office of our boss.

So I end up *waiting* on her until she finishes.

I tried going off for food without her a couple times.

It didn't go over well.

No, I'm expected to WAIT on her to finish so we can walk over together. Who cares how hungry I am? It's all about her.

Let's face it, my friend is really kind of a pain in the ass.

So why am I wasting both bandwidth and pixels on her?

Because she's on vacation this week!

HOW DARE she not be here?

She may be a pain in the ass, but she's my pain in the ass.

Never thought I'd miss her…

Open Gratitude

A few weeks ago, I wrote an ode to a CalTrain conductor.

Today, an Ode to a Shuttle Bus driver.

Owing to working in the building farthest away from the main campus, I ride a small bus, with creaky springs and an uncomfortable ride.

It's not fun. We had a driver for a time who hurtled that thing way too fast up California highways and byways, often popping unsuspecting folks (like me) up out of their seats. Yes, I caught air on more than one occasion.

Between that and CalTrain side sway, I often arrived home a little blue in the gills…

But that was before Jose.

This new driver arrived one day. A quiet, gentle man. And a gentleman as well.

He drives at an acceptable speed. He "hits his marks" without fail. He neither arrives too early (ugh, we had one guy who was perpetually five minutes early…if you missed it, tough nuts) nor too late.

His best point? He waits for us to come off the CalTrain so he can direct us where he's parked the bus. We never get lost in the morning train station melee anymore! (other drivers wait on the bus, leave before everyone is on board, and tough nuts if you miss it)

And then Jose had a defining moment.

About a month into Jose's tenure we had a blasting heat wave in the Bay Area. On the first day of this hot spell, Jose waited until we were all seated on the bus, then stood at the front, and quietly addressed the passengers.

"I want to tell you that the air conditioner is broken on this bus. I have put in a work order. I put in a work order every day. I keep copies. I have twenty work orders I can show you. But they won't listen to me. However, my company, they will listen to you."

I realized that Jose is on that damn bus for four hours in the morning and four hours in the afternoon. How miserable it had to be with no air conditioning.

But you could tell he felt it was an act of mutiny to speak out against his employer.

I'd recently worked on a project with the guy in Facilities who owns the commuter program. We'd outfitted the shuttles with WiFi access. So that morning I sent an email.

That afternoon, Jose came rolling up in a new bus with both a smoother ride and working A/C.

When I boarded, he thanked me profusely. And every day for about a week.

Upon my return from a recent week's vacation, I stepped off the CalTrain, and dependably, there was Jose.

"Karen, where have you been? I've been so worried about you!" he said as I approached.

This is the kind of customer service you just don't get anymore.

This morning, as I rode the CalTrain, I began writing this blog entry. I felt the necessity to proclaim my gratitude.

To my surprise, as I boarded the bus, Jose informed me that today is his last run. He's being promoted to the big shuttle buses that run between San Francisco and work.

It's a better situation, more pay, more comfortable bus.

I cannot tell you how sad I am.

How can I emerge from CalTrain every morning and not reliably know where my bus waits?

I wish him nothing but the best. We've heard rumors of the "new guy" who'll be driving. "He drives to fast," is what I hear.

Great. Dramamine and bungee cords all around.

Jose greets everyone on the bus by name. And we respond in kind. It's a symbiotic relationship. He gets me to work every day, makes sure I get safely on the bus, and gets me back home to The Good Man every night.

Jose, I'm humbled by your dedication and grateful for your tireless service. The employees who now get the benefit of your services have no idea how lucky they truly are.

Fuming

I'm still fuming a bit from something I encountered while in Albuquerque about a week ago.

Having been raised in New Mexico, I've always been a fan of beautifully crafted silver and turquoise jewelry.

I had the privilege of living near some of the finest Native American craftsmen who create works of art, and I've never taken that for granted.

Over the years, I've always been on my guard and tried to buy from reputable people where I know the jewelry was not only handmade by Native American people, but the gems were real and unique.

So while in Albuquerque near Old Town, I had occasion to visit one of my favorite stores where I know the pieces are always legitimate and beautiful. That place is called Casa de Avila and it's been a place where a lot of my paychecks have gone over the years.

The real stuff, the good stuff, isn't always the least expensive stuff.

So after buying a couple items there, we wandered out onto the plaza. I saw the row of people selling their wares on blankets laid out on the sidewalk and yes, it took me back a lot of years. Even as a kid I knew how to get in there, find something nice, and work with the artisan on a fair price.

Seeing this again, I was fired up to take a look.

For quite a while I've been looking for a particular necklace. A real turquoise graduated bead necklace, like this only longer and in blue turquoise.

That necklace, made by hand (meaning hand shaped round stones) with hand matched beads is VERY expensive, but really a masterpiece.

You can find some like it that are machine matched, shaped and strung, sure.

I'd like a handcrafted piece. Let me just say this....VERY expensive.

So as I strolled along the row of merchants there on the sidewalk, I spotted a really nice looking necklace. I looked at the gentleman who was selling the works, a Native American man, and thought "maybe this is the one".

I walked past his stand to look at what else was out there, told The Good Man "I may be about to spend a very lot of money" and went back to place where'd I'd spotted that necklace.

I kneeled down and picked up the piece that had caught my eye.

Immediately, I knew something wasn't right. For a long necklace made out of turquoise, it was really light. And it didn't have that sleek cool-to-the-touch feel in my hands.

Hmm.

I remember over the years a lot of articles and conversations about how to tell if turquoise is fake.

Something I read once said hold a lighter up to the piece. If it's plastic turquoise, obviously, it will melt.

Not having a lighter on me, I tried another trick. I took one of the beads in my fingers and pushed my thumbnail into it. On that warm Albuquerque day after sitting in the sun, it felt sort of...soft. My nail sunk in a bit, just the tiniest amount, but enough to tell me this was a genuine Native American-made piece crafted of incredibly fake stones.

I put the necklace down and walked away reeling. I told TGM what had happened and he gave the guy the benefit of the doubt, "Maybe he needs to sell a piece like that so he can buy real turquoise". Maybe. Yeah.

But the tag on it said "genuine turquoise". It's a lie.

I didn't actually price the item (it wasn't on the tag) and maybe should have. If he's selling it for $20, then fine. I have a feeling that's not the case.

I'm not naïve, yes, I know this kind of thing still goes on, and the caveat "buyer beware" is still very much in effect.

I was just mad at first...then later sad. I'd hate to think that someone visiting my fair New Mexico would get swindled. But yes, I know it happens and I can't save the world...

By the way...I support Southwest Indian Foundation. They work to help folks in trouble through sales and also via donations.

And they have a beautiful selection of genuine pieces at reasonable rates.

How many of you who sit and judge me…

…have ever walked the streets of Bakersfield?

Sorry Mr. Owens. I don't judge you. Never did. But I'm here to pass a little judgment on your hometown.

On this last road trip through the Golden State, I had occasion to stop off in Bakersfield. As a matter of fact, we needed petrol, and Buck Owen's Blvd. off of Highway 99 seemed as good an exit as any to take.

At the bottom of the freeway ramp, there stood Buck Owen's Crystal Palace. And not much more. We weren't of a mind to visit the palace, tho it was interesting to see. But the gas/food/lodging situation in that area was sketchy to say the least.

It was all just…weird.

I'm a big fan of Buck Owens and think he's about the most talented musician I ever knew, along with a great self-deprecating sense of humor.

I can't help but think his old hometown hasn't quite done him the justice he deserves. The place to go to remember him is a weird neighborhood filled with strange businesses.

Who knows, I may be missing something…

Then again, it is California's Central Valley. A David Lynch movie waiting to happen...

Utter distruction.

I have this fabulous little SmartDisk drive that I adore.

It has this great form factor that rocks. It's one inch by one inch square with a little flip out arm for the USB connector.

It is twelve nice-and-roomy GB's. I admit when I bought it, I thought 12GB was an odd size, but whatever.

Been carrying this around in my backpack for about a year now. It has all of my blog post drafts, lots of photos, a couple videos, much of my writing and various other things. I just dig this little guy.

It's what I use at work so no personal stuff ends up on the work machine. All safely put away on a jump drive. And I can take work files home on it and not have to carry my entire laptop.

About a month ago, my Little Drive turned up missing. I was distraught. I had gone sailing out of the office late for the shuttle bus and was just sure it had fallen out of my handbag as I ran.

I was heartsick. I had made that major IT error. I had failed to back it up. It had several original files on there, including the beginnings of a new novel. I was 6,000 words into it, and sure, I could recreate, but who wants to!?

Highly depressed, I went back to the online store where Little Drive was procured only to discover they no longer make the 12GB version. The best I could do was an 8GB, so I bought one.

I was too depressed to even fire up this new drive. Unsure what to do, I soldiered on. Until I got a call from security at work . Seems they found Little Drive on the shuttle bus. I almost wept with joy. I ran over the security department and retrieved my creative soul. I immediately brought it back to my desk and backed it up to my Big Daddy firewire drive.

Whew.

So, reunited, we began again, writing together, saving interesting tidbits. A letter to the editor. A draft of an entry to a local poetry contest. Yes! We were happy again, side by side.

Then there was yesterday…

For the past several days I'd had that odd back of my mind feeling that I needed to backup Little Drive. Paranoia, I think, after being parted. But when I got to work, I got out Big Daddy drive and backed Little Drive up.

Then I plugged Little Drive in and started working on some stuff.

Later, I had to attend a "lunch and learn" meeting that I'd rather have poked my eyes out than sit through…

So I decided to take my MacBook and "appear" to be working while really working on my own stuff. I had Little Drive attached to the MacBook. In a rush to get to the meeting, I hurriedly picked up my MacBook and whacked Little Drive on the underside of the shelf right above the laptop stand.

Broke the USB connector, yes I did. Well, it was connected…but hanging there by its blue and red and green and yellow wires…

I was able to gingerly plug it back in and it mounted. Yes! I pulled off the files I'd worked on that day (that didn't make the morning backup) then I ejected the drive.

I peered into the little arm and thought "well, it's connected, I'll just push this back in and it will work fine."

I'll spare the suspense. I did and it didn't. Meaning I fixed it but it no longer worked.

So I yanked the USB connecter back out. My "fix" had snapped off all the wires.

Damn.

I pried open the cracked plastic a bit and took a look. It didn't look good. But I thought maybe I could take it home and fiddle with it. Ok, to be fair, since I'd backed it up, there was no need to resuscitate this drive…I'm just…emotionally attached to it.

Owing to being "raised by engineers" (an honor bestowed on me by the engineering team of which I was a part of…as their financial analyst…right out of college) I figured I could figure this out.

I mean, my dad could make a toaster last for thirty years, I could fix a damn USB connector!

The Good Man suggested that even if I fixed it, odds of "data loss" were high with my kludgy fix.

Well, he needn't have worried.

In one of those bits made for sitcoms, the more I tried to fix it, the more I broke it. I kept trying to pull the wires out a bit more. Trying to take the shielding off so I could get more space. All I did was fray the wires to unrecognizablility.

Then I thought maybe I could pop out the 12 GB drive and put it in the 8GB case! The one with the working USB connector!

After busting it wide open, I discovered that, yeah, those wires were attached to the drive in such a way as to not be easily removed.

Basically, I pulled a big ol' Bull in a China shop on this poor little drive. It's now in many, many pieces on my desk at home.

*sigh* Gonna miss you, old friend…

So the new 8GB has gotten the call to the bullpen. You're up, fella. Let's see what you got.

Memories, dancing demons and lost fragments of thoughts

There's a lot going on in my head. None of it related to work. But here I sit at my pressed wood cubicle shelf desk-like device absorbing EMF's from my monitor…and pondering.

If I tip my head up a bit, I can look over the top of my monitor and see the actual outside.

Here it is:

That photo doesn't tell the tale. There is an oppressive haze hanging over tree tops.

I say haze, it's really smoke. The heavy winds have brought a taste of the fires up this way.

Taste, as in literally. If you go outside your eyes and nose sting and you get that campfire flavor in the back of your throat.

It was weird, when I arrived at work this morning, I opened my car door and took in the first inhale of this dirty air, you know what it reminded me of?

New Mexico.

Yeah. Odd huh? But for the people who live(d) there, you'll be able to relate.

You know how when the first cold of fall sets in and people start using their fireplaces and wood burning stoves? The smell of burning cedar and piñon is distinctive. You can taste it. The cold crisp to the air and that smell permeates.

So odd, that the smell of burning forest made me homesick.

I'm reading "Curse of the Chupacabra" by Rudolfo Anaya right now. Last night as I was reading, the main character was back home in Santa Fe and talking about being outside and smelling that distinct wood smoke.

Must have been in my brain then, this morning.

Me and Rudolofo, same page today.

That's the magic of a really good author. You and he are there together, touching across space and time in that moment you read the words. You find a common ground. Anaya is one of my favorite authors, so that synchronicity is cool.

Inspired by something really tough, a raging fire.

Memorial Weekend lies ahead. Memories. I know this weekend is about remembering military veterans, and I do.

Maybe it's also about airing out old memories of all sorts. Spring cleaning for the closets of the soul.

Been thinking a lot about old things. Old hurts. Old scars.

The woo-woo minded among us would suggest that this is due to Mercury going retrograde on Monday.

I'd say it's because I'm the kind of girl who likes to shake up her thoughts like specks in a snow globe just to see where they land.

The Good Man said I might be entering the water hazard known as "middle life crisis".

Whatever.

Either way, I'm thoughtful.

Ah well, off to a holiday weekend. Three days off sounds like a little slice of heaven to me today.

To all, Happy Memorial Day. Enjoy the weekend, be safe and remember those you love!

Milk truck, stat!

Ok, no one was hurt so I'm allowed to joke…

Crash strews Oreos over I-80.

First of all, who uses the word "strews" anymore?

That said, traffic in Chicago was stopped in a delicious way when a truck carrying 14 tons of double stuffed Oreos overturned, tossing deliciousness in "plastic sleeves…into the median and roadway."

This is a tragedy.

First, gas prices go up. Due to transport costs, milk prices go up. And now this utter devastation means a shortage in the Oreo supply.

It ain't right, folks. It just ain't right.

Gotta have my Vitamin O.