Have yourself a Merry Little...

...whatever holiday you celebrate. I make no assumptions here.

The Casa de Karen and The Cute Boy™ is in tumult as we clean and scrub and prepare for guests tomorrow. I'm not much of a hostess with the mostess, so entertaining in my home always makes me a skosh edgy. Plus, among the guests tomorrow is Mother of The Cute Boy™ and in my silly female way, I'm still trying *very* hard to make a good impression on her. She's a wonderful woman, a great cook and raised the man I love, so her opinion matters, you know? I tend to twist myself into a knot about it.

The food is all stocked in the fridge. The feline is unhappy about all the kerfuffle as we sweep and mop and vacuum. She thinks we all should be taking a nap. Have I mentioned that in my next life I want to be my cat? She's got it real good around here.

I think things will all come together. Pretty much when you get good eats and good people together, magic happens. Joyful magic and I could use a bit of that in my life.

Meanwhile, everybody, enjoy your family, friends, homemade family (cuz the one you're related to are intolerable), yourownselves, your pets and your holiday cheer.

And if the going gets tough, spike the egg nog.






Photo by Karen Fayeth

Guilt.

I have it.

What is it, exactly, about the holidays that makes guilt so possible?

True, I'm an easily guilted child. A fact my folks used to great advantage when raising me. And yet, the month of December seems to be the guilt month, no doubt.

Owing to my Catholic upbringing (I'm no longer practicing), guilt was sort of woven into my early life. And in the good Catholic tradition, confession is good for the soul...

I feel guilty that my mom is alone for the holidays. I mean, she's not *really* alone, my aunt and uncle are nearby and look after her, but since my dad passed, she's had a tough time of it. I shouldn't feel guilty. My folks weren't very people oriented, so they had few friends. In my mom's waning years, she doesn't have that many people to rely on and she's honestly burned a few bridges with her children. She keeps wanting me to move closer to her. I just can't (for many reasons). And years of hard mental work have told me that taking care of myself is important (and isn't selfish). And so despite the fact that it's the right thing for me to be here and live my life, I still feel guilty.

I feel guilty that I've been so involved in work and trying to finish up that I haven't paid enough attention to my home life. The Cute Boy™ and The Feline are fine, they love me, support me, are happy I made it through. I guess I want to be all things to all people (and pets). I tend to take on all this guilt when I can't be "perfect". Ugh, what's with that?

I feel guilty that I've eaten too many holiday cookies. :)

I feel guilty that I got my Christmas cards out late. I know, not a crime, but damnit! How hard is it to send out a few cards? (Hard enough when you are working too much and are exhausted....there goes that perfectionist thing again.)

I feel guilty that my job is a decent job and pays reasonably well but I actually don't like it and want more than anything to flee. I should be more grateful for everything that place has done for me, and yet I just cringe going in there every day. I'll spend the next two weeks pondering this one. I've reached critical mass. Time to you-know-what or get off the pot about this topic.

And of course, I feel guilty that I haven't managed to update my blog most of this past week and so here it is, 7:40am on my first day off and I'm writing up a guilt post.

Good lord my brain is a complex place.

So as of this moment, I grant myself absolution. I don't even have to do an act of contrition, I'm pretty contrite already.

My penance is to love myself a little more today. To ease up a bit. To hug my man and cat a bit more and to enjoy the hell out of my Christmas holidays.

Now I shall go out and make it so.

I did it.

I survived this hell week. As predicted, there was that "last minute gotta get it done end of year oh my god" contract that, surprisingly, was accomplished. Earlier in the week I'd said "no way", and yet, it was done.

I wish I felt proud about such things. I used to. No more.

Anyhoo, I made it through.

And now. Two weeks. No work.

It's too much to contemplate. I'm going to savor each and every one of my sixteen days sans work.

Today the holiday ham was ordered. Presents are wrapped. Egg nog in the fridge. The Cute Boy™ in the house.

Bring on the holidays! I'm ready!





Photo by Karen Fayeth

Uh oh.

Guess what I got up to this weekend?



I let the hellidays come up and grab me.

I indulged in a long time family tradition...using old and new implements.

I emailed my mom and got the family "secret" sugar cookie recipe. And I made 'em. Oh yes, I made 'em. Had to buy my own set of cutters, and they aren't as good as the decades old ones my mom is still clinging to.




But she did finally give up her old Kitchenaid mixer.





I've been baking treats out of that thing since I was probably 6 or 7. My mom made tortillas every Saturday (after Mass) in that same mixer. It looks a little worse for the wear, and is, for god's sake, 1970's avocado green, but it still works like a charm. I love how a new generation of young women have discovered what I knew all along. A Kitchenaid mixer makes short work of any baking project. It's amazing.

And in keeping with tradition, I managed to burn one batch. The first one. Crispy. But I covered them in frosting anyway and will look the other direction when someone grabs one of the "well done" cookies. Hee.



Oh and father of The Cute Boy™ gave us his old train set, thus fulfilling one of my long time wishes, to have a train around my tree.



It's all good. This is the first time in a long time that I'm happy at the holidays. I think I owe most of that to the loving holiday excitement of The Cute Boy™.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!

Now, I just have to endure five more hellish days of work to get my two glorious weeks OFF.

I can make it. With a belly full of cookies and a head full of carols, oh yes, I will make it................

Point and Counter Point

I was caught a little off guard at the overwhelming response to my "Top ten things I miss about Christmas in New Mexico" post from a couple days back. I've been thinking about it a lot, how cool it is that my experiences are familiar to others.

So since it's been a *really* long week at work, I'm not sleeping well, acid reflux is at an all time high, and I'm physically and mentally exhausted….oh and cuz it's Friday, I decided to come up with my top ten things I DON'T miss about Christmas in New Mexico….tongue FIRMLY planted in cheek, of course.

< humor = "on" >

1) "OH MY GOD, SNOW IS FALLING FROM THE SKY, IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!! I WILL DRIVE TOO FAST, RICCOCHET OFF OF PARKED CARS AND FORGET TO BRAKE SLOWLY, THUS SLIDING THROUGH INTERSECTIONS!" Yeah…my sister was a claims adjuster for a large insurance company for many years. Oh the stories she would tell after an Albuquerque snowstorm. You know, it snows at least once every year…why the freak out, folks?

2) The endless hearings of Feliz Navidad. In every store. On the street. In restaurants. I know I waxed rhapsodic about it a few days ago, but as with every year, after a few listens, I'm over it.

3) Nelson Martinez Mariachi Christmas. : shudder :

4) Another Kokopelli Christmas ornament. I am not one to look in askance at a gift from anyone, but damn, people! Christmas ornaments are a great gift, but change it up sometimes! How about a hummingbird? Or a fetish bear? I'm a southwest girl, sure, but the ol' Kokopelli isn't my fave guy. Plus, isn't he a fertility bringer? Do I *really* need that?

5) Could it *be* any more difficult to park at Coronado Center at the holidays? Geez! (Ok, from what I hear, no one shops there anymore….but back in the day...it sucked)

6) Rasquache by the river. After I was into adulthood, my parents retired and moved to Los Chavez. They lived right near the river on the Bosque. It was kind of country out there and I loved it. But a lot of their rural neighbors would get their kids dirt bikes, ATV's or new shotguns for Christmas…and of course they'd all run up and down the ditch roads trying out their new toys all day long. It was like a freaking war zone out there. It wasn't *quite* country enough for all of that…

7) When there is not enough damn snow to ski on. Bah! Isn't that was all that time off from work is for?!?!?! Can't ski on dirt, people!

8) Kelly Liquor store is open on Christmas morning. Oh no, wait, that's a good thing. Nevermind.

9) The not well organized Xmas display in my neighbor's yard that stays up (and lit) until August. I am no electrician, but I'm pretty sure too many stacked up strings of lights in one feeble extension cord isn't safe. Plus, does one yard really need a full size Santa with all three reindeer, a full on nativity scene with a plastic baby Jesus, and the sun faded flamingos? I mean REALLY!

10) That one funky hominy kernel in my bowl of posole that, despite resting in the pot all day with all his little corn kernel friends refuses to cook like a good hominy should. I mean, cooking down with pork and red chile is an honor, but nooo, you gotta stay like a rock and bust my back filling when I chomp down on you. Whatever! Just bring me good luck in the New Year and we'll call it even.


You know, this list was a LOT harder to write than the last one. Guess that's cuz Christmas in New Mexico rocks.

Enjoy, ya'll, and have a happy weekend!

What would Funk and Wagnall say?

Heard on local radio talk show yesterday morning and confirmed via the AP and the Albuquerque Tribune, the Word of the Year for 2007 is:

w00t!

Yup.

Now, who am I to complain? I'm a big fan of the word. It peppers my personal emails, has made an appearance in this very blog (and here and here and….uh a few more times too….). But I'm not sure the word is Miriam-Webster worthy.

How do I feel about this? I sort of don't like it when a slang word is legitimized. I mean…doesn't that take some of the fun away? I love words, I really do, I'm a certified linguaphile (*wink*) but I also really love made up words. My best friend and I have a vocabulary all our own. It's fun to bastardize words. And w00t is fun because the letters and numbers make it a word that's not quite a word, but heck, even if you've never seen the word, you can get the joyous meaning when you see: w00t!!

It's word that means what it sounds like.

If I recall my English teacher's hardworking edumacation, that would be an onomatopoeia.

There's my nickel word for the week. (NMSU grad in the hizz house, w00t!)

Today, it's w00t, tomorrow it's teh…before you know it STFU will be a part of the formal lexicon. I want to know when w00t shows up on a kid's spelling test….

Anyhow, best to just end this post with a w00t! for the selection of w00t! as the word of the year.







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Cheers!

A tip of the cap and a hearty THANK YOU to both NewMexiKen and Live From Silver City for yesterday's linkage. I guess my homesick blues resonated. Christmas really is the best time of year to be a New Mexican.





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Top ten things I miss about Christmas in New Mexico

1) Annual shopping trip to Old Town. A mom and me tradition. Every year I'd get to pick out an ornament that was mine. I now have all those ornaments in a Thom McAnn shoebox that, yes, Sunday night I opened and hung them all on my tree. They are like a history of my life. I remember buying most of them and it gives me a good sense of continuity to have them on my tree.

2) Luminarias. I always made them at my house. My mom would drive me to an empty lot to dig up two buckets worth of dirt and I'd fold bags, place candles and light them. It was my job and I loved every second of it, every folded bag, every candle that caught the bag on fire. I miss them.

3) The Bugg House, which, sadly, is no more. My sister lived over on Prospect and we'd go for a Christmas Eve walk in the evening to take a look at the outstanding display of holiday spirit. When I would go to Winrock Mall to shop, I'd always swing by the Bugg house to take a look. I miss it.

4) Neighbors bringing a plate of fresh made tamales as your Christmas gift. When you get three generations of Hispanic women in a kitchen with some masa and some shredded pork, magic happens. Yum! I also miss that people would come to work with tamales in a cooler and sell them to coworkers. I was always good for a half dozen or more.

5) A ristra makes a good Christmas gift. I've given. I've received. I love 'em. They'd become a moldy mess here…and that makes me sad.

6) Biscochitos. My love for these is well documented.

7) Sixty-five degrees and warm on Christmas Day. I think one year there was actually snow on the ground for the 25th. But it was melted by the end of the day. Oh Fair New Mexico, how I love your weather.

8) Christmas Eve midnight Mass in Spanish with the overpowering scent of frankincense filling up the overly warm church. Pure torture for a small child, but oh how I'd belt out the carols… And when we came home we could pick one present and open it. Gah! The torture of picking just one!

9) New Mexico piñon, gappy, scrawny Christmas trees that cost $15 at the Flea Market and were cut from the top of a larger tree just that morning. Look, to my mind, it ain't a tree unless you are using low hanging ornaments to fill the obvious gaps. These fluffy overly full trees just ain't my bag. If you ain't turning the 'bad spot' to the wall, you paid too much for your tree.

10) Green chile stew for Christmas Eve dinner and posole for New Year's. My mouth waters. It's weep worthy. I can taste the nice soft potatoes in the stew, the chicken broth flavored just right…ouch! And posole to bring you luck with red chile and hunks of pork. Yeah……

Which is not to say I don't have happy holidays where I live now...but sometimes I feel melancholy. And that's what the holidays are for, right?




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Ask and you shall receive…

Heard it. Twice. Today.

It's official. The Hellidays are here.

So far I've attended two holiday lunches. I've received one two-pound box of See's Nuts and Chews and given away two bottles of booze. (I've probably also "received" a few holiday pounds. Bah!) The celebrations continue…I'll fiddle with the Christmas Tree while my desk is burning…however…

I finally convinced a certain cranky Director that "plan B" should be put in place…meaning "if we don't get it done, we have a bridge to get through the holidays". He fought me at first. Now he's using the case I pled case as "his idea". Whatever. It means I can exhale a minute and be ok. And that's a good thing.

Meanwhile, all this holiday stuff and management meetings and such means I've been dressing up a bit lately. The dress code at work is mainly jeans and whatever top I can throw on. It's a definite benefit of where I work. Comfy is juuuust fine.

So since my dogs have been barkin' from wearing high heels and stuff, for the past few days I've been sporting my all time favorite pair of boots. Ariat Fat Babies are da *bomb*. My best friend turned me on to them and I haven't looked back since. I love 'em so, they are comfy as anything.

Ooooooh the comments I'm getting from the locals over heah! Ranges from "hey, those are cute" (what with the rhinestones and all) to "OH MY GOD ARE YOU WEARING COWBOY BOOTS!?!?!?!?" Why yes. : coff, bite me, coff :

Days like this make me long for Oh Fair New Mexico where Rockies and a pair of boots are "dress up clothes"…

Happy Friday ya'll...

It's the most pain in the ass time of the year

The Hellidays. Yup. They are here. I got 'em all over me.

This is notoriously the hardest time for me to get through. I actually love the holidays but never get to enjoy them because it's a race to the finish line at work. At the last three places I've worked, this has always been the heaviest work time of the year.

It's why I began the tradition of listening to Merle Haggard sing "If We Make It Through December" every year, because, by god, if I can just make it through December, everything's gonna be all right, I know….

When I used to work for Lockheed, every December was the time of year I had to decide which of my employees would get laid off, if layoffs got as far as our department. Thankfully, I never actually had to lay someone off, but the stress of making that kind of decision always put a pall on my holidays.

So I'm thankful I don't have to go down that road anymore. My company is doing well, stock price is high, and we're working hard. I had a minor breakdown on Friday listing all the projects that have to get done before December 21 (after which my company shuts down for the holidays). I started crying because I can't get them all done. Being a perfectionist, this kind of stuff gets me…hard.

I had another mini-breakdown today and one of my trusted friends and coworkers talked me down. She is in the same boat and we agreed…what will get done will get done. What doesn't, won't. I won't get fired, but it won't look good. And that just has to be ok.

So in happier news, (keeping my promise to myself to have a happier outlook, please) I haven't yet heard what I consider to be my "hallmark" of the holidays; the first time I hear "Feliz Navidad". I mean, good ol' Jose Feliciano is my own personal Rudolph, yanno? Haven't heard it yet. It's not the hellidays until I sing along!

Soon, tho, I know soon. I've already watched "White Christmas", my other tradition, so I’m on the way.

How about you? What's your "sign that the holidays have begun" and have you seen/heard/said it yet?






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Aggies oh Aggies!

Being a proud graduate of New Mexico State University means that where I live now, I am subject to blank looks when I respond to the "so, where did you go to school" question (it's oddly a big deal out here).

Occasionally I get hacked on. And it also means, that still, some fifteen years since donning a cap and gown, I still feel rather bitter about the < expletive deleted > Lobos. As the chant from the Pan Am Center goes, "Luck the Fobos"

So today, while sitting in a boring ass meeting with hostile senior executives of the company that owns my ass, I had occasion to surf over to the ABQJournal. And I smiled.

Headline reads: "Aggies Dominate Inside, Give UNM Second Loss".

See, three days ago, the women's basketball team whomped up on the Fobos (thus breaking a string of twenty-two losses in a row) and then last night, the boys followed suit, issuing a 71-62 beating. Yeah, baby!

I know they get to do it again in a couple weeks (this time at The Pit(s) and that is always tough), but for now just let me gloat.

With little to be happy about (the Aggies are 4-6 so far this year) I'll take this bit of joy.

It's important to stop and give thanks for the nice things. Smell the roses, so to speak….drink a beer to my alma mater.

W00t!

Ok, back to work, but here's the tune I'm humming as I walk to the next building for the next ridiculous meeting.

__________________________

Aggies, Oh Aggies
The hills send back the cry
We're here to do or die
Aggies, Oh Aggies
We'll win this game or know the reason why
And when we win this game
We'll buy a keg of booze
And we'll drink to the Aggies
Till we wobble in our shoes
A-G-G-I-E-S
Aggies, Aggies, go Aggies
Aggies, Oh Aggies
The hills send back the cry
We're here to do or die
Aggies, Oh Aggies
We'll win this game or know the reason why

In Memorium

Heartbroke is the best way to describe how I feel at reading the news in Duke City Fix that Mr. Powdrell, truly a legendary man, passed Sunday night at the age of 86.

When I used to work at Sandia Labs, the Powdrell's location on Central was a common lunch spot for me. With pickles!

More often than not, Mr. Powdrell was sitting out front, watching the world go by, cooling off from that hot kitchen. I always gave him a hello and a thank you.

Anyone who provides eats that good deserves heartfelt thanks.

My thoughts go out the Powdrell family and the good people of Albuquerque. Wish I could remember the man by enjoying a big plate of his barbeque today. That's the best way to honor him that I can think of…



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Follow up and updates

So thought I'd tack on to this post from last week regarding the fuel oil spill in the Bay Area.

Over the weekend I picked up the Friday edition of the The Examiner with a headline reading "Fishermen take to Bay as ban lifted". Below that is a smaller headline "Officials say initial location of oil slick wrong". I bought some coffee and grabbed a seat and got caught up on the latest. This story had dropped out of the headlines so I had no idea where it stood.

Long way around the barn, the fishing ban imposed by Gov. Schwarzenegger on November 13 has been lifted. The article says "…crabs and fish were found safe to eat…" but it doesn't give any source, who did the testing, and what was tested. Pardon me for remaining suspicious. To add to the drama, the season was opened, but high winds kept most boats off the water.

Below this main story was a smaller one about how in the time immediately following the collision, The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration provided projections about how the oil would move which proved to be wrong. It would be easy for me to sit here and take pot shots, however, I can't. I've been on that water. I've sat by that water. It's notoriously unpredictable.

At the end of the day, it can be described as "a comedy of errors" which often happens in these situations. And plans are underway to figure out how to handle it better next time.

I'm hoping, now, at the end of the day, the fishermen can still make and sell their catch and we can put this environmental disaster behind us.

In other news…cue "nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goodbye", the ABQjournal reporting today that the City Council voted to put a hold on the traffic camera program, meaning no fines issued until a decision is made in January about whether to even continue the program. Talk about a comedy of errors! Drive on good people of Oh Fair New Mexico!





photo by Karen Fayeth

New Mexico in my Pocket

Here from the official website for The United States Mint. Quarters to be released in 2008.

Oh Far New Mexico, how I long to carry you in my wallet, pocket, slide you lovingly into a slot machine, Coke machine, toss you in a bucket on a turnpike.

How I hope to hold you up and show you quarters from other states and we'll mock them sarcastically.

I mean…North Dakota with your buffalo. FEH! And Kansas with your, uh, buffalo. FEH! I say.

Gaze upon my zia sun sign gorgeousness! 47th in statehood, number one in new quarter HOTNESS!








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