: scowl :

I started this blog on March 17th, St. Patty's day. And during that time, my job was so very utterly slow and monotonous that I was able to whip out my posts every day, usually before noon. A sense of pride filled me every day I hit the "publish" button and had my post done for the day. I felt like my "real" work was done, I'd posted, and then I could jet about and enjoy the day.

In the recent weeks, a lot of things have happened. My boss went to another group. My boss' boss (the Director) went to another group. The tyranny that reigned in my organization came to an end. We are all like prisoners emerging from solitary confinement. We blink in the sunlight of our new Director, an amazing woman with both compassion and actual "soft" management skills. She's already done wonderful things for us....including buying not one but TWO cakes.

CAKE!

Celebrations and dancing and cries of "we love the new mommy" abound.

But new Boss Lady comes with a price. She took on our team, but her boss, the Vice President (in what I'm sure is his infinite wisdom) said she didn’t get to shake off her old team. She had to take us on IN ADDITION. So Boss Lady is VERY busy. Which means delegation of work.....

Add to that a new company wide project that directly affects the small team that I manage, and suddenly, we are in the spotlight with A LOT of work to do.

I'm not sure how I feel about this, to be honest.

On the one hand, this is stellar for my group and possibly the advancement of my own career.

On the other hand, when things were quieter, I was actually devoting time to my creative work including this blog.

So now I have amazing work success but it's not fulfilling.

A conundrum.

Meanwhile, my posts have gotten spotty at best and it TORTURES my over perfectionistic soul.

I can't let go of my creative work. It fills my heart and soul. But I can't let go of my day job. It fills my bank account and my refrigerator (and the bowl of the hungry feline that owns me).

Meanwhile....I've had to switch the balance of "business" Barbie from "artist" Barbie. We both have big boobs but one of us is *really* tired and discontented.

(Ok, comparing myself to Barbie is laughable...but roll with it....)

Unsure how to solve this. Watch these pages as I'm sure this will be a running theme....

Meanwhile....back to work. Grudgingly.