The Good Child

I used to be that. I was the one that didn't get into trouble. And when I did get into trouble, it *pained* me. I worked long and hard my whole life to "go along to get along".

But not always. And not as much lately.

Been doing a lot of "head work". You know the kind where you go sit on a couch and talk about your feelings? It's hard work, but as I work at it, I find, I don't always like sitting there being a good girl anymore.

And that's ok. What's not ok is the guilt I still have about it.

Tonight I went to the book club at my local library. For this month, we read "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson and David Relin.

The book, roughly, is about a guy who tried to scale K2 in Pakistan, but didn't make it to the summit. While wandering around, hungry, disoriented and lost, he finds himself in the tiny village of Korphe, where the villagers care for him. While there he sees the sad state of schools in the village, children study outside and share a teacher with another village, and vows to build them a school. This sets off a long journey around building a series of schools in a fairly hostile country.

It's a wonderful story. But in my opinion, the writing in the book is truly awful. And this is a book club, right?

So the discussion group I attend, it's mostly elderly folks. They are really wonderful and I enjoy them. But I get tired of the need for everyone to agree. Every time the book club starts, the librarian asks, "how did everyone like the book." Everyone always likes the book. Everyone but one. Me.

I have become, in the bounds of this book club, the proverbial turd in the punchbowl.

And the cheese stands alone.

I don’t *try* to be disagreeable. I just like a lively discussion. But I think these fine folks think I'm a rabble-rouser.

Which, if you know me, is pretty funny. I'm feisty, sure, but there is that whole ingrained "go along to get along" thing.

Maybe this therapy thing is working? Because tonight I'm ALL fired up. I do feel a little guilty for not being the good girl, but I’m working through it. I am not sure the people enjoyed my point of view, but I thought I made some darn good points.

We don't *always* have to agree in order to get along. Right?

Or is that just me...............