Had a weird day yesterday.
Well, most of my days are weird. Yesterday was especially so.
I was working in the studio and painting up a storm. Since The Good Man was out and about, I took the opportunity to turn on the oldies country station I like. 104.7 out of Albuquerque does an internet stream.
It's a great station for classic country stuff. I try to spare The Good Man from my country music as much as I can. All for the sake of the marriage and things like that....
So as I painted, on the radio came Merle Haggard, and George Strait, a little Ray Price and even a stab at some Garth Brooks (the old stuff).
Well, it didn't take but a minute, and I was vacuumed up into the Wayback Machine. I found myself struggling with heart pangs that were hard to ignore.
It doesn't help that I'm also reading a Max Evan's book right now. In it, he describes horses and New Mexico plains and mountains...
Well, it's more than a girl can take.
I tried to fight off the homesick but it started to hurt deep inside.
So I called up my best friend.
"You either gotta come get me out of this wayback machine or you gotta get in here with me," I left on her voicemail.
She called back quick. "Open the hatch, I'm coming in!" she said.
So being the kind of friend that you keep around for some twenty plus years, she talked me down and reminded me that I'm just a couple weeks from actually *being* in New Mexico again. So could I just hold out a bit?
Feeling a lot better, I hung up the phone and turned off the radio.
Then the Good Man came home and all was right in my world again.
About an hour later, I heard my iPhone buzz.
I picked it up to see that my old boss from Sandia Labs was pinging me. She is a dear friend and the best boss I've ever had. She told me that she and her boss (who was my first manager at Sandia and is also a good friend and a fine Aggie alum) were having drinks while out on a business trip.
Their conversation had turned to stories about, well, me.
She was recounting a few of them via text messages (we had a lot of fun back in those days...the mid-90's) and she said, "That was the best time I've ever had at work. We should never have let you go to the Bay Area."
And damnit all if that sharp pang didn't come right back to my heart.
Now I keep in touch with my former amazing Boss Lady, but we haven't spoken a lot in the past year (other than to congratulate her on a recent marriage).
Sort of out of nowhere, on a day when I’m homesick anyway, there she was relating stories of a great time in my life back when I lived in Albuquerque.
And I seized up a little.
It was weird how all these events came together on one day.
So I talked it over with The Good Man. I told him I'm afraid of forgetting who I am and where I come from. He suggested that just that fear alone may keep it from being so.
He asked, "Do you want to move back?"
And I said, "No, because I think I'd yearn for San Francisco if I left!"
Over the weekend, we went to see a theater show, "The Tosca Project," that was so San Francisco and the heart of North Beach that I love profoundly, that it was moving and deeply gratifying to my soul.
The thought of being far away from the soul of that City is a sad thought.
Sometimes I’m a girl caught between all the Karens that make up who I am.
I don't have any answers. I figure I'm just going to have a very high electrical bill this month, what with all this constant use of the Wayback Machine (it's not Energy Star rated.....)